I have learned over these few months that this Mene Mac learning center is a group thing. Interdependence is a good way to describe the Mene Mac family. We have a lot a group assignments, which means depending on each other. Interdependence means when people or things depend on each other to create a final product in Mene Mac.
One of the things that we have to do for one of our Mene Mac classes is “2gives and 2gets”. That is for our English class when we write an essay. First we post our rough draft on our blog, Then we ask two partners If they can comment your paper and if you can comment theirs. Then we have to depend that those two people to first post their rough draft, then for them to comment your rough draft. If we do that then Miss Sueoka will comment our draft’s, and we can write our final draft. We can only write our final draft if we do our two gives and two gets.
For our KC3 project we got assigned to a group of 6 or 7. We all have different things to do, like a PowerPoint, a website, a video, and an interactivity. If one person does not do their job, then the whole group is screwed, because the final package is all of the things together, so we all depend on each other to fulfill our jobs to turn in a finished product.
For our media class w had one day to film a music video, and one more day to edit. We were randomly split into three groups of 4. We found out that we all had to work together, which also means that we all had to trust that we would all have an equal part in the video. We also had to depend on the equipment we were using that it wouldn’t malfunction, and that our group members brought what they were supposed to bring, like props, a camera or two, a flash drive. Without those things, we may have not finished our video.
So a few ways that interdependence is used in Mene Mac is our two gives and two gets, our KC3 project, and our Christmas music video.
Hey, Your Essay is Half Awesomeness, HAlf gone. I really like that you summarized many details into one paragraph and that's no ordinary feat. Give yourself a pat on the back. But to me, i think it's still a little "wordy".
ReplyDeleteWORD CHOICE and VOICE: You could use more sophisticated or words that show your voice. Example one has my voice in it so you can use it, but i would suggest putting you into it and to shorten your paragraphs and make it, you know, a little more intresting. And you also have Extra words.
Example 1)
"If we do that then Miss Sueoka will comment our draft’s, and we can write our final draft."
Here's my sophistified way:
"Once we do that, we can get Mrs. Sueoka's Stamp of Approval and we can turn in the Final of the Final drafts. *Huff, finally*"
I can see you didn't thisk too hard on the subject like i did. The Idea is strong and Easily memorized in your head so it shouldn't be too hard to write out.
IDEAS: IT's a pretty good idea to easily write what you know, but this then goes into word choice. Since this is what everybody knew already, you'll have to spice up the spicy factor a little bit. add a cup of chili peppers. Make it intresting.
EXAMPLE:"For our media class we had one day to film a music video, and one more day to edit."
Add some pizzazz to it so what i'd do is:
" Only two days! On the First day of hell is shooting pandemonium and stress into one happy song and the next, Faces glued to the screen of the computer, cold sweat dripping down the face's of editors, anticipation and pressue locked into the room holding everyone down!" And then Explain.
Organization:I see everything's in no particular order and while this did happen in sequential order, other readers may not know what's happening. Or the structure of the passage is too hunka-lunka, meaning it's just putting things that you know onto the word passage and then listing it.
Give it s storyline.
EXAMPLE:
"The KC3 Project, in November has a special process called The Irrevocable Torture that is 2 Gives & 2 Gets. Each relying on the other to accomplish a school assignment"
> *next_paragraph
THEN
"In the Warm, muggy, Tree Blowing December, We were assigned An Assignment that might as well be sent from college. 2 DAYS! And ONE FOR ACTING! GYARRRGGHHHHH!"
and end.
Oh and one more thing, In the beginning where it says Half gone, i meant to say you needed to write about Interdependence AND Empathy. EMPATHY. Make a paragraph about that.
ReplyDeleteIdeas: I think your ideas are mixed up and make it kind of confusing. I think you should start off with the definitions to make it more clear and then put whatever explanation you have for it. Also your example of the “2 gives and 2 gets” are very confusing try clearing that up or just giving a different example all together.
ReplyDeleteOrganization: Your organization of the paragraphs are very good. They’re clear and have a nice order to them. Now I think you should just focus on fixing your organization within your sentences.
Voice: Your voice is only shown slightly in your essay. Its good how you talked about your projects in language arts so that narrows the author down to 26 students. Not to be too personal but I think you should share some specific experiences you had with these projects, things that went good, things that went bad.
Word Choice: Your word choice needs work. You use a lot of very generic words and your not very descriptive. I think what you really need to work on to is the way you word you sentences like “First we post our rough draft on our blog, Then we ask two partners If they can comment your paper and if you can comment theirs. Then we have to depend that those two people to first post their rough draft, then for them to comment your rough draft. If we do that then Mrs. Sueoka will comment our draft’s, and we can write our final draft. We can only write our final draft if we do our two gives and two gets.” Its hard to understand this statement and I think if you move the words and sentences around it will be a lot more understandable. Try wording sentences differently to see which ones make the most sense together, in what order.
Your essay needs work but good job good luck on your revision and if you don’t understand my comments just ask byes!
-kiyo