I think you sort of got the idea of the assignment. It's too short. You need to describe the way you feel about the situation instead of asking comeback questions like "Should the state make public school students payto play the sports that they love and keep them out of trouble?". And also, The Idea isn't expressed very strongly, like, it doesn't strike the fear of god into my heart. Not tht it's supposed to but it should make an impact to the other person one way or another. it's a Proposition. That's what it is. So are you for the budget cuts or against it? You need to explain that part of the situation and also why. It could use some improvement but you're on the Path to USC. Ba dum bum KSSHH.
Hi CJ, Please revise the font color so that all of the text on your blog is readable. Some is too dark. As far as your proposition, it needs to be a statement of opinion rather than a question. It actually should be the answer to your question. assessment score: 2 mrs s PS to Joseph...you need to follow directions...you were supposed to respond to the issue, not critique the post.
HI CJ, Okay...you've corrected the font color...much better now...can you please also fix the photo, asap?
And you've revised your proposition so that it is a single statement, rather than a question. Perhaps it could also be more specific, since you're talking about funding...and "focus" can go in many directions.
I think you sort of got the idea of the assignment. It's too short. You need to describe the way you feel about the situation instead of asking comeback questions like "Should the state make public school students payto play the sports that they love and keep them out of trouble?". And also, The Idea isn't expressed very strongly, like, it doesn't strike the fear of god into my heart. Not tht it's supposed to but it should make an impact to the other person one way or another.
ReplyDeleteit's a Proposition. That's what it is. So are you for the budget cuts or against it? You need to explain that part of the situation and also why. It could use some improvement but you're on the Path to USC. Ba dum bum KSSHH.
Hi CJ,
ReplyDeletePlease revise the font color so that all of the text on your blog is readable. Some is too dark.
As far as your proposition, it needs to be a statement of opinion rather than a question. It actually should be the answer to your question.
assessment score: 2
mrs s
PS to Joseph...you need to follow directions...you were supposed to respond to the issue, not critique the post.
HI CJ,
ReplyDeleteOkay...you've corrected the font color...much better now...can you please also fix the photo, asap?
And you've revised your proposition so that it is a single statement, rather than a question. Perhaps it could also be more specific, since you're talking about funding...and "focus" can go in many directions.
mrs s
Revision assessment: 3